Saturday, November 24, 2007


We all know that there are different kinds of people in this world. Those who help people, those that try to make the best of a bad situation, those who make the worst of a bad situation, those have a view of the glass half full, those that have a view of the glass half empty. And there are some that just make people's life as shitty as they can. Now for privacy reasons I'm going to keep names out of this. But my boyfriend has two kids with his x-wife and he is trying to keep a good relationship with his kids. And his x is trying to make his kids hate him and make it so they never want to come over. She also depending on time of day and cash flow, will at times deny him to see his kids. Now granted me and him could of picked a different way to get together however whats done is done, and now me and him have a beautiful baby together. He is letting his kids decide when they want to know about the baby, (again there will be no names.) Now she was trying to find out info about my baby through her daughter from her first marriage, and I wouldn't tell her, or she was asking her x about the baby even though she hate him ( my baby) all she calls him is a bastard and calls me a whore. Well to her you have no right to call my baby a bastard call me what ever you want b/c honestly I don't give a rats ass what you think of me, by you calling me names and me not calling you anything but your name, that just says that I'm more mature than you and I'm more than 10 years younger than you are. I have no hard feelings to you.

Now a person that makes the worst of a situation usually goes out of their way to do this. This woman will not allow him to be a part of something that would help his relationship with his daughter for god know what reasons and he needs to be a part of this help she is getting. She turned his daughter against him for the most part. But his son wants to come over and spend time with his father. And I've offered to leave my home, so the two of them can spend some quality time together and talk. Now please tell me what kind of woman would do something like this to a man who has two wonderful kids.

Friday, August 31, 2007

A point of view

To all those who read this still you may think that this entry is just another neive girl's opion and she don't know what the hell she's talking about. Well when we are young we are taught what to beleive and what is real. Well if you want to really think about life, nothing seems as real as it should be. Nothing that happenes to you is what you thought would happen to you untill it has. We are raised to beleive that love is this wonderful thing that don't take much work. Both people know one another so well that everything just falls into place. And your lives just go together. Well thats isn't always the case. I don't think I can even come close tosaying how hard it is to keep love alive or going in a relationship. I never thought I'd be were I am now. Just a few short years ago I was happy without too much to worry about, and I"m sure there are alot of people out there that feel the same. But that isn't the point. I may throw a few things in this one from my life but I'll try not to do it that much.

When we are kids our parents take care of everything for us. All we had to worry about is what time to be home for dinner. Hell our moms even cleaned our rooms for us. Than as we grew up we got more responbilities come and for the most part of live we can handle it. Now there are a few people growing up that don't like the idea of having responbilities and they eighter just blow them off or pass them on to someone else. And thats how they get through life untill something hard its them and they fall right on thier ass. And to us that take what we have to do and do them, we tend to laugh at them and watch as they stress out about things to the rest of us seem normal. And even though there are some people like that out there that we would just like to take under our arms and help out as most as we can, we know we can't b/c those people won't learn a thing about life. And we all know we can't shelter people like that forever.

There are also people that don't want to admit that they have messed up, for what ever reasons. And don't do anything to try and fix what they have messed up. There are also people that will do what ever it takes to fix what they have messed up. And those people deserve resecpt, and ok we all know that we will still give that person some crap about it for awhile. But we always know what it must have taken to admit and fix what they have messed up.

Now there are some people that while they will admit and try to fx what they have done wrong and never be given the resecpt that they deserve. And to those type of people I'm sorry.

Now there are the women who never would of thought that at a certain age they would be a mother-to-be. And at times that can frighten that woman to death but they do what they have to do to take care of that child. Me I'm going to be a mother soon. I'm 23 and I didn't think I"d be a mother at the age of 23. I always thought I"d still be in school, working, or something. But I know I'm going to take care of my child as best as I can. Now I'm not saying I'm sorry I'm pregnet or anything like that. Its just the oposite really I'm happy and I'm happy as to who the father is. ( he shall not be named) And I know that he is also really happy and we will do our best to raise our child the best that we can.

That is just another point of view. That life never turnes out they way we want, thought, hoped, or dreamed. But we are still happy about how our lives are going.

Sunday, December 31, 2006


Back in June I left the man I love to help a friend drive down to TX it was a long drive, I did that with the promise that I would be send back home 2 weeks later, well that didn't happen. The time I spend away from my home was the longest time in my life. The time I spend away from my family was also long however needed, but thats not the point here. I know that everyone has to leave thier parents at sometime in thier lives.

The point here is I didn't want to leave home for good than I wanted to stay close to the one's I loved. Well that time I spend away did some good for me. It made me realize that I truely do love him and I want him in my life always. It was something him and I both needed. I guess doing things we don't want to do but have to do is good for us at times. But I also at the same time have grown to like it just were I am now. But again I want to go home and now I have to. so I guess it comes in handy also.

Wednesday, December 27, 2006

Qustions of love

When we are young our parents tell us what they think we should know. When we are young our parents tell us what they want us to know about the world. Well we get older and we start having questions of our own that our parents can't answer. So what do we do? Not questions like why is the sky blue or anything like that. Real questions. Questions we have to live to get the answers to. Like why do we fall in love? Or what will happen in my life with the person I fall in love with? Mom and Dad can't answer those for us. But a long time ago my mom told me something that I will never forget, and I think its true to a point, she said " we all fall in love with someone that has a similar trait as one of our parents". Now I have yet to figure out if that is true for me right now, however in a way I hope it is. B/c both of my parents protected me as best as they could growing up and taught me well. I only hope that the man I spend the rest of my life with can do that as well, and love me the way I need to be loved. And no matter what me and him go through we will always come out strong.

Now we all know that with every relationship there will be some kind of problem that you have to work out. Like trust, now I know I'm still young and I have my life ahead of me and everything and I may not know as much as I should at this age, I don't hide that fact. And I don't play off that fact b/c I do know allot for someone my age. I know that sometimes we are forced to do things we don't want to do but have to do. But how do you know when that time is? How do you know that the one you want to spend the rest of your life with is the right one for you? How do we know that there won't be a day where you don't want to leave the one your with but you have to for what ever reason? There are times when I sit and think about that probably more than I should. But I digress. I don't want to come across as some ranting young woman because I"m not. What I am is someone who wants and needs some help every once in a while just like everyone else in this world of ours.

Anyways from what I have learned in my life so fare I think I will be able to figure out part of those questions of love. But I also know that when I'm with that person I'm susposed to be with for the rest of my life it will take about that to find out the other parts of those questions. But if you have any advice for me please leave it.

Saturday, December 16, 2006

Today's world

Ok well for those of you who know me, I have a book that I like to read, its called The Giver. A good man tends to tease me about that book. But what I think about that book is ........well kinda odd really. I mean they live in a world where everything is controled down to who your partner is. They have a pill that controlls what they call stirings, which is basicly a pill that makes sure you don't have feelings for a certian person. It prefends you from falling in love with someone. The people in the book have stricked rules to follow. After they turn 12yrs old they are told what they are going to do for the rest of their lives. Even the weather is controlled, and they don't see in color they only see in black and white. Now I've read that book maybe about 6 times. Yes I know I'm a dork for that but its really interesting as to how those people live. And it makes you think about todays world in a way. It makes you think as to how lucky we are to have the freedoms that we have. And how much some of us take that for granted. Now when we break laws we are punished for them accordinly. In the book the people have a 3 strike rule, if you break a rule or any rulse 3 time, you are released, (killed) and its takes much more that 3 times for us to break laws considering what state your in and what law you break that is.

Now I don't know about a whole lot, keep in mind I'm only 22 but I have my own ideas and what not. I'm glad that I have the freedoms that I have and I'm glad for those who have fought for me to keep my freedoms and I inteand to make my choices good ones. But this isn't about telling you what I plan on doing with my life. Hell I still have alot of life to live. What this is about is comparing the book to life.

If any of you have read the book I'm talking about than maybe you can comment about it, if you haven't and you want to its by a lady named Lowis Lowery. Its a small book it shouldn't take you more than a couple of hours at most.

But it will make you think. How do you think life would be if you couldn't pick what you wanted to be when you grow up, or who you spend the rest of your life with? I know a long time ago they had arranged marriges and all but I'm talking about here and now.. If you couldn't say how many kids you wanted or make any kind of choice like that for yourself, what would you do? And do you like having the freedoms we have now?

Wednesday, December 6, 2006


Ok we all need a little support every now and than right? Some of us may not want to admite it but we do. Now the people that you want the support from are usually the ones you love, but what happens when they don't or won't support you? Aside from the fact that it hurts like hell, there isn't really much you can do. Now I'm not talking about getting support from a boyfriend, husbant, girlfriend, or wife, and even some friends, they support you with anything or they will tell you how you can improve something your working on. The people I'm talking about are your parents. The people that raise you and tell you that they will always be with you and support you no matter what. And they will be behind you no matter what you do or where you go.

Now I know that some people don't always deserve support from thier parents but those people are normally the ones that need it the most right? I'm not talking about having your parents say good job or anything like that. I'm talking about having them say I'm proud of you, or no matter what you do we will always be there.

There are always some parents there to knock you on your ass and make sure you stay there or tell you you can't do what you want. Now I'm only 22 no kids or anything. if I ever said that to my child, I would let them smack me. I mean come on, your kids need you the most, even after they are grown, kids will always go to thier parents for advice or someone to talk to.

Now being the youngest of 3 kids, I know what it is like to have your parents tell you you can do what ever you want, but than they turn around and tell you they don't want to be in your life, or they won't even give you thier phone number. I don't know how many of you have ever had the happen to you, but it hurts like hell. What would you do as a parent? would you tell your kids to do what ever they wanted to do, that you would support them no matter what? or would you tell them you didn't want to be in your life?

I know what tough love is ladies and gentlemen, but there is a fine line between tough love and just being ass hole parents. So to the parents that read this, and the people that want to be or are going to become parents what would you do?

Tuesday, December 5, 2006


Ok well I've read some interesting comments that have been left on here, and I have to say that to have the ability to say that something frightened you or something like that takes alot of strength. I mean most people, ok well I should say most guys will almost never admit to being afraid of something. Personaly I think thats bull shit. Now before anyone gets mad at me for this statement please allow me to explain.

Most men feel that they need to be the main breadmaker for the home ( the only one that works) they feel that any test to them is dissresecptful or something like that, and if anyone says they are weak or afraid than they have to fight to get that resecpt back. Ok that is bull shit right there, I'm sorry. If I heard a man say that he was afraid or something, I would think he was or is more of a man for being able to say that. I mean hell how much strenght would he have to have to say that. And as for weak, well everyone is weak with one thing or another right?

I dated a man that wasn't afraid to admit anything at all, he would tell me everything, and I think he is more of a man than any man I know, I also think he is a very strong person for being able to say that to me or to anyone.

But one thing that men have to worry about that women don't, is thier father. A father wants to know that thier sons are strong men and can do anything, and if they see that thier son is afriad or weak or something like that than all that father does is knock down their sons, and that is also bull shit.

To the men that read this, if you know what I'm talking about or if your a father please tell me what you think.